Betting Closes At Post Time
If you read my previous post, you know I like the late Pope John Paul II just a little bit. I *loved* the idea of a Pope pop icon. Spirituality as entertainment-- or finding spirituality in entertainment-- is the thing that makes me very, very happiest. (Okay, so I write novels about gods reincarnated as surfers, think holes in garage walls are caused by joyriding divinities, and believe the Angel Raphael has walked with his arm around my shoulders. I have no desire to kill myself or others.)
Although the Pope's answer to the possibility of loosening the Church's stance on many controversial issues remained a resounding "NO," he was a crusading, erudite writer of considerable sublety. I went down to the local Daughters of St. Paul bookshop to buy a souvenir, and wound up with John Paul II's Book of Mary, an excellent compilation by Margaret R. Bunson of the Pope's writings and addresses on the Virgin Mary. He was a tireless champion of Mary and insisted upon the background of his coat-of-arms being Marian blue with the gold letter M on one quarter, even though being told by advisors that this was highly irregular, or even illegal, in ecclesiastical heraldry. For those who aren't Catholic--or who find Catholic imagery not easy to get into--the Virgin Mary can be considered to embody all spiritual aspects of Woman, and it's not an exaggeration to say that you'll find most of these aspects-- even in the Jungian and Isis-worship senses-- presented in a highly-laudatory and engaged manner in the Pope's little book.
The nun who checked me out went out of her way to say how much she liked the book. It's been awhile since I've been around nuns, so it was fun to talk to her. Not having been sent to a Catholic school, I've always loved nuns and thought they were beautiful. Their pre-Vatican II habits made them look like superheroines. In an age when female role models were a rather sporadic and variegated lot--ice skaters, Barbie, Agatha Christie, Annette Funicello, Nancy Drew, Emma Goldman, Emma Peel--nuns were a very real, attainable, and consistent example for young girls, working in humanities and mathematics as teachers and in sciences as nurses. Kathryn Hulme's book The Nun's Story--yeah, that cool chick flick with Audrey Hepburn--is a great and underrated read of still-relevant accuracy about many aspects of religious life, and the life of her main character, although probably a *bit* more exciting than that of the usual European nun, was not at all implausible and displayed far-greater variety and opportunities for experience of other cultures, and enlightenment, than were open to most European laywomen in the 1930s. Let's hear it for the nuns. I learned to speak French as a tiny kid sitting on the lap of a young nun from Quebec. I still speak and write French with as much affection, if not as much expertise, as I do English. Thank You, Sister Jeanne-Marie. Plus, it was a nun who got to smack the knuckles of The Blues Brothers with a ruler. What a *cool* role.
(Touching though I personally think the gesture is, I'm still wondering how President Bush's advisors never brought up any Establishment Clause concerns about ORDERING all federal flags to fly at half-staff in honor of the Pope's death.)
All that said, how about a little levity:
***THE GREAT POPE DERBY***
Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga 1-1 (Even Money)
Funny as ****, will keep all the paraphernalia, panoply, and theatre we all so love most about The Church. Downside--for some-- May move the Vatican from Rome to Barcelona.
Francis Arinze 2-1
It's high time for a PWP (Pope With Pigment-- a Man Of Color. And BLACK STYLE AND HUMOR.). Alas, ultra-conservative in an already somewhat-distanced youth culture. Although will *never* respond to detractors with Yo Mama jokes.
Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan 5-2
Vietnamese--to say, a *highly* spiritual and ancient culture--spent 13 years in prison, with numerous ancestors who died for The Faith. But-- He died in 2002. We rejoice that you're in Paradise, Cardinal Nguyen. :-)
Claudio Hummes 3-1
Brazilian with agenda of fighting poverty. Not offended by The Da Vinci Code. No drawbacks, really.
Dionigi Tettamanzi 4-1
Moderate who can stay the distance and also appeals to the young. But is he too Italian to last the homestretch in a photo finish?
Jean-Marie Lustiger 4-1
Fully-flying frontrunner on sincerity of belief-- born Jewish; his mother was killed in Auschwitz. But will The Church want to offend the Jewish community by a possible blatant message that they think it's desirable to convert to Catholicism?
Lubomyr Husar 5-1
Ukrainian whose family fled persecution during WWII. Unfortunately-- from the point-of-view of papal election-- family fled to the United States, where he's now a citizen.
Giovanni Battista Re 5-1
Communicates well with burgeoning Catholic Third World-- has served as president of the Vatican commission for Latin America since 2001. Drawback: He's Italian.
Angelo Scola 5-1
Cosmopolitan guy from Venice. Venice had 3 popes in the 20th-century-- It's too bad that some might say, Enough, already.
Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino 5-1
A Hispanic from an atheistic communist, passionate, country, Cuba. But has anyone seen much of communism lately, outside of The Motorcycle Diaries? Odds even if new Pope elected on basis of dazzling and warm smile.
Godfried Danneels 7-1
Witty, intelligent, and highly-charismatic funloving Belgian center of attention at all the best ecclesiastical parties. Might be seen as turning The Church into one perennial soiree.
Christoph Schoenborn 10-1
Sprints easily to the leaders on multilingual intellectual diplomacy. Falters due to youth and the proximity of Austria to Poland.
Joseph Ratzinger 10-1
Has a great fan club, but can he get Karl Lagerfeld on board in time to re-vamp his reading glasses?
Camillo Ruini 15-1
Proved he can keep pace with the class of the field by standing in for the Pope at a number of public occasions. Dislikes Nietzsche.
The Field 1-5
Everybody knows the Pope is never elected from the favorites.
Seriously, if you want to learn more about who, among a stellar galaxy of highly-qualified souls, might become the next heir to St. Peter, click here and see the factual stuff and the great photos The Vatican has provided.
*All* of these gentlemen seem highly pleasant, intelligent, conscientious, imaginative, and worthy to be Pope. If the Eucharist-- the Body of Christ--can be absorbed daily by 1 billion people, why can't 120 Cardinals share the legacy of St. Peter as a congress...? :-)
Although the Pope's answer to the possibility of loosening the Church's stance on many controversial issues remained a resounding "NO," he was a crusading, erudite writer of considerable sublety. I went down to the local Daughters of St. Paul bookshop to buy a souvenir, and wound up with John Paul II's Book of Mary, an excellent compilation by Margaret R. Bunson of the Pope's writings and addresses on the Virgin Mary. He was a tireless champion of Mary and insisted upon the background of his coat-of-arms being Marian blue with the gold letter M on one quarter, even though being told by advisors that this was highly irregular, or even illegal, in ecclesiastical heraldry. For those who aren't Catholic--or who find Catholic imagery not easy to get into--the Virgin Mary can be considered to embody all spiritual aspects of Woman, and it's not an exaggeration to say that you'll find most of these aspects-- even in the Jungian and Isis-worship senses-- presented in a highly-laudatory and engaged manner in the Pope's little book.
The nun who checked me out went out of her way to say how much she liked the book. It's been awhile since I've been around nuns, so it was fun to talk to her. Not having been sent to a Catholic school, I've always loved nuns and thought they were beautiful. Their pre-Vatican II habits made them look like superheroines. In an age when female role models were a rather sporadic and variegated lot--ice skaters, Barbie, Agatha Christie, Annette Funicello, Nancy Drew, Emma Goldman, Emma Peel--nuns were a very real, attainable, and consistent example for young girls, working in humanities and mathematics as teachers and in sciences as nurses. Kathryn Hulme's book The Nun's Story--yeah, that cool chick flick with Audrey Hepburn--is a great and underrated read of still-relevant accuracy about many aspects of religious life, and the life of her main character, although probably a *bit* more exciting than that of the usual European nun, was not at all implausible and displayed far-greater variety and opportunities for experience of other cultures, and enlightenment, than were open to most European laywomen in the 1930s. Let's hear it for the nuns. I learned to speak French as a tiny kid sitting on the lap of a young nun from Quebec. I still speak and write French with as much affection, if not as much expertise, as I do English. Thank You, Sister Jeanne-Marie. Plus, it was a nun who got to smack the knuckles of The Blues Brothers with a ruler. What a *cool* role.
(Touching though I personally think the gesture is, I'm still wondering how President Bush's advisors never brought up any Establishment Clause concerns about ORDERING all federal flags to fly at half-staff in honor of the Pope's death.)
All that said, how about a little levity:
Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga 1-1 (Even Money)
Funny as ****, will keep all the paraphernalia, panoply, and theatre we all so love most about The Church. Downside--for some-- May move the Vatican from Rome to Barcelona.
Francis Arinze 2-1
It's high time for a PWP (Pope With Pigment-- a Man Of Color. And BLACK STYLE AND HUMOR.). Alas, ultra-conservative in an already somewhat-distanced youth culture. Although will *never* respond to detractors with Yo Mama jokes.
Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan 5-2
Vietnamese--to say, a *highly* spiritual and ancient culture--spent 13 years in prison, with numerous ancestors who died for The Faith. But-- He died in 2002. We rejoice that you're in Paradise, Cardinal Nguyen. :-)
Claudio Hummes 3-1
Brazilian with agenda of fighting poverty. Not offended by The Da Vinci Code. No drawbacks, really.
Dionigi Tettamanzi 4-1
Moderate who can stay the distance and also appeals to the young. But is he too Italian to last the homestretch in a photo finish?
Jean-Marie Lustiger 4-1
Fully-flying frontrunner on sincerity of belief-- born Jewish; his mother was killed in Auschwitz. But will The Church want to offend the Jewish community by a possible blatant message that they think it's desirable to convert to Catholicism?
Lubomyr Husar 5-1
Ukrainian whose family fled persecution during WWII. Unfortunately-- from the point-of-view of papal election-- family fled to the United States, where he's now a citizen.
Giovanni Battista Re 5-1
Communicates well with burgeoning Catholic Third World-- has served as president of the Vatican commission for Latin America since 2001. Drawback: He's Italian.
Angelo Scola 5-1
Cosmopolitan guy from Venice. Venice had 3 popes in the 20th-century-- It's too bad that some might say, Enough, already.
Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino 5-1
A Hispanic from an atheistic communist, passionate, country, Cuba. But has anyone seen much of communism lately, outside of The Motorcycle Diaries? Odds even if new Pope elected on basis of dazzling and warm smile.
Godfried Danneels 7-1
Witty, intelligent, and highly-charismatic funloving Belgian center of attention at all the best ecclesiastical parties. Might be seen as turning The Church into one perennial soiree.
Christoph Schoenborn 10-1
Sprints easily to the leaders on multilingual intellectual diplomacy. Falters due to youth and the proximity of Austria to Poland.
Joseph Ratzinger 10-1
Has a great fan club, but can he get Karl Lagerfeld on board in time to re-vamp his reading glasses?
Camillo Ruini 15-1
Proved he can keep pace with the class of the field by standing in for the Pope at a number of public occasions. Dislikes Nietzsche.
The Field 1-5
Everybody knows the Pope is never elected from the favorites.
Seriously, if you want to learn more about who, among a stellar galaxy of highly-qualified souls, might become the next heir to St. Peter, click here and see the factual stuff and the great photos The Vatican has provided.
*All* of these gentlemen seem highly pleasant, intelligent, conscientious, imaginative, and worthy to be Pope. If the Eucharist-- the Body of Christ--can be absorbed daily by 1 billion people, why can't 120 Cardinals share the legacy of St. Peter as a congress...? :-)
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