A Brief User's Guide To Hawaii
It's selective, because it's based upon personal experience. :-)
FEMALE:
1. If you buy a new bikini with littler cups, put sunscreen on those white parts, sweetheart, unless you ~really~ want to live through The Revenge of the Sunburned Tit.
2. If you go alone to sunbathe on Sunset Beach, be aware that no matter how lonely a spot you choose when you arrive, by the time you leave there will be 60 idiots watching you from under the palm trees. Gauge behavior/motions/leg spread accordingly.
3. If you're in Honolulu alone near the beach, on any walkway that is asphalt or concrete, be *sure* to smile at all the kids with skateboards and BMX bikes. They *will* do stunts just for you, and it's really cool to see an unrehearsed 411VM video.
MALE:
1. Don't go to Queen's Beach (between the Aquarium and the Zoo, and the name is not a pun) unless you like to pick up other guys.
2. If you're Japanese, don't necessarily believe that those friendly Japanese-speaking girls in cars are *really* exchange students just looking for a face from home.
3. Don't EVER say "kefe" (KEH feh) to a Samoan. Just DON'T.
I'll add more as I think of them. There are uku bazillions.
FEMALE:
1. If you buy a new bikini with littler cups, put sunscreen on those white parts, sweetheart, unless you ~really~ want to live through The Revenge of the Sunburned Tit.
2. If you go alone to sunbathe on Sunset Beach, be aware that no matter how lonely a spot you choose when you arrive, by the time you leave there will be 60 idiots watching you from under the palm trees. Gauge behavior/motions/leg spread accordingly.
3. If you're in Honolulu alone near the beach, on any walkway that is asphalt or concrete, be *sure* to smile at all the kids with skateboards and BMX bikes. They *will* do stunts just for you, and it's really cool to see an unrehearsed 411VM video.
MALE:
1. Don't go to Queen's Beach (between the Aquarium and the Zoo, and the name is not a pun) unless you like to pick up other guys.
2. If you're Japanese, don't necessarily believe that those friendly Japanese-speaking girls in cars are *really* exchange students just looking for a face from home.
3. Don't EVER say "kefe" (KEH feh) to a Samoan. Just DON'T.
I'll add more as I think of them. There are uku bazillions.
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