brief silent movie intermission

AN OAHU ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, INTERIOR

1. Frustrated over not being able to tie his own shoelaces, a 7-year-old autistic boy begins waving his arms.

2. A special education aide attempts to intervene.

3. The boy hits her.

4. The school has the boy arrested. (Yes, the adjectives modifying "boy" were "7-year-old" and "autistic.")

Not surprisingly, the State of Hawaii has just paid $50,000 to settle a lawsuit by the kid's parents.

On an unrelated note, it's the office consensus that the aloha shirt worn by the large, friendly Samoan messenger is definitely not faafaafinya (gay).

On another unrelated note, if you want to talk to the new Pope about anything, here is his email address: benedictxvi@vatican.va

The new pope is popular locally because about 15 years ago a Catholic group here wanted to have some services held in Latin. Rather than just telling them, "No," the priest took it higher and had them all excommunicated for "wanting to start their own church." The group appealed to the Vatican, and Cardinal Ratzinger, then head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (the branch of the Church that oversees doctrine) rescinded the excommunications. Bravo.

I also feel sorry for anyone whose older brother would actually say, in public, to world media: "At age 78 it's not good to take on such a job which challenges the entire person and the physical and mental existence. At an age when you approach 80 it's no longer guaranteed that one is able to work and get up the next day. His gift, his character is not so spontaneous [as John Paul II], doesn't touch the hearts of people so directly. He is more reserved and a bit shy. It will be difficult I think. But that on it's own isn't everything. We'll have to wait."

On the complimentary? side, Georg Ratzinger added: "He is a very normal person, mindful and responsible and easy to get along with. I could name a whole range of positive characteristics."

Gee, that's nice.

I think it's a big positive characteristic that the new pope so far hasn't issued an encyclical stating that according to Church Doctrine it's okay to kill all your relatives.

last blast

a true banzai wedding. :-)

Curtain, or, Twilight of the Blogger

Howzit.

All of you have been so much fun--I feel like you are really good-hearted and entertaining friends--and posting here has been way, way cool, but I need to face facts:

1. Time. I'm not finding ways to make more of it.

2. Shit I Need To Do. I'm not finding that there's less of it.

So, I'm going to avoid that icky pretentious word "hiatus" and just say that I'm going to stop updating this page for awhile.

I need to finish editing the second novel, finish writing the third one, get to work on the fourth one and the remainder of the short stories for the anthology, and finish coding the video game (working title-- "Loco Reef of the Demon Tiki Goddess;" should be available early 2006).

Mahalo Nui Loa (Thank you all very, very much) for the laughs and the wicked repartee.

Aloha! :-)

smoke gets in your eyes

Now that the conclave is in session, we're all waiting breathlessly to see:

1. White smoke (We have a Pope) or
2. Black smoke (Can't agree-- gotta stay in the hotel another night)

Of course, it's not a black-and-white world.

Other colors of smoke you *may* see issuing from the Sistine Chapel:

Red -- Send Help Immediately. Tonya Harding's buddies are loose in here with baseball bats.

Blue -- We finally got around to trashing that bag of cobalt pigment Michelangelo left in a corner.

Yellow -- We'll get a Pope just as soon as everybody has a chance to use the Men's Room.

Orange -- Tell Domino's to send 115 Cardinal Supreme Pizzas with extra cheese.

Green -- We've eaten the pizzas. Send Pepto-Bismol.

Purple Haze -- Jimi Hendrix is now providing live entertainment.